Bizarro-Lois

Latest revision as of 23:16, 28 March 2010

Bizarro-Lois

The "grotesque, imperfect double" of Lois Lane who, along with her mate Bizarro, is the co-ruler of the planet Htrae (Act No. 263, Apr 1960: "The World of the Bizarros!"), a wacky and cockeyed world "where all the men are imperfect imitations of Superman, and all the girls are distorted doubles of Lois Lane!" (Act No. 264, May 1960: "The Superman Bizarro!"). Indeed, it is to distinguish herself from all these other Bizarro-Loises that the original Bizarro-Lois has taken to wearing a large medallion around her neck plainly identifying her as "Lois-Bizarro No. 1." Like all Bizarro creatures, Bizarro-Lois--who is alternately referred to as Lois-Bizarro--is "only composed of lifeless matter," and is therefore, not really alive. Like her fellow Bizarros, she is illiterate and ungrammatical (Act No. 263, April 1960: "The World of Bizarros!"), and, like them, she is vulnerable to Blue Kryptonite just as Superman is vulnerable to Green Kryptonite (S No. 140, Oct 1960: pts. I-III—"The Son of Bizarro!"; The 'Orphan' Bizarro!"; "The Bizarro Supergirl!").

Bizarro and Bizarro-Lois, 1959

[edit] Origin

Bizarro-Lois first comes into being in August 1959, when Lois Lane uses Lex Luthor's "duplicator machine" to create an imperfect duplicate of herself as a mate for Bizarro. Indeed, Bizarro falls in love with Bizarro-Lois the moment he sees her, and flies away with her into outer space so that they can find a home for themselves on a distant planet in some "faraway solar system" (Act No. 255: "The Bride of Bizarro!").

By April 1960, Bizarro and Bizarro-Lois have arrived on a world in a far-off solar system and stumbled upon the ruins of an ancient city whose alien population was "wiped out" by some unknown calamity sometime in the distant past. The two Bizarros decide to make their home there, but as time passes Bizarro-Lois becomes lonely for "friends to talk to," and so, to fulfill his mate's need for companionship, Bizarro uses the super-scientific apparatus in the ruins of an ancient laboratory to construct an ingenious "imitator machine" with which he soon creates hundreds of Bizarro-Loises in the exact image of his mate.

Bizarro-Lois's joy at her new-found friendships quickly turns to jealousy, however, as the newly-created female Bizarros begin to covet the affections of Bizarro, the only male on the planet. At the insistence of the original Bizarro-Lois, Bizarro focuses the amazing imitator machine on himself, thereby creating a host of Bizarros like himself, one for every Bizarro-Lois. Together the male and female Bizarros--all of them imperfect duplicates of Superman and Lois Lane--set about dismantling the crumbling ruins of an ancient alien city and transforming them into "a crude copy of Metropolis" which "looks like something a mad architect would design" (see Bizarro City). The Bizarros christened their planet Htrae, which is Earth spelled backwards. The original Bizarro becomes "the tribe's leader," and the original Bizarro-Lois, his consort. Together they rule their Bizarro world from atop stone thrones in a ramshackle "palace." When Superman visits the Bizarro World and is thrown into prison on the charge of having violated the Bizarro Code, Bizarro-Lois visits him in his prison cell, proclaims her love for him, and offers to persuade the jury at his upcoming trial to find him innocent if he will agree to give her his hand in marriage. Superman, however,declines the offer: "Sorry, Lois!" he snaps. "I'll take my chances in court!"

"You...you beast!" cries Bizarro-Lois angrily as she stalks out of the prison cell. "You turn me down, eh? Then me will get jury to convict you...wait and see!"

[edit] The Trial of Superman

Indeed, when Superman finally comes to trial in the Bizarro courtroom, charged with such heinous Bizarro offenses as "fixing houses," being handsome, and speaking "good English," his outlook seems bleak: not only is he denied an attorney and the right to defend himself, but the spurned Bizarro-Lois vindictively incites her fellow jurors into a frenzy against him, making a verdict of guilty a foregone conclusion (Act No. 263: "The World of Bizarros!").

As he sits in his prison cell awaiting the carrying out of the sentence that has been imposed upon him by the Bizarro court, Superman is visited by yet another Bizarro-Lois, this one a "freak Bizarro" who has the appearance of a Bizarro but who thinks and speaks normally. This Bizarro-Lois, having donned a bogus medallion falsely identifying her as Lois-Bizarro No. 1 offers to help Superman escape from the prison by posing as the original Bizarro-Lois, who arrives on the scene and exposes the impersonation, but Superman ultimately wins freedom for himself--as well as the courageous Bizarro-Lois who tried to help him--by persuading the Bizarro authorities to annul his conviction (Act No. 264, May 1960: "The Superman Bizarro!").

[edit] Motherhood

In October 1960 Bizarro-Lois gives birth to a baby boy, the first Bizarro actually born on the planet as opposed to having been artificially created by Bizarro's imitator machine. Like all newborn Bizarro infants, the baby is born with perfect human features which undergo a sudden transformation into imperfect, Bizarro features shortly thereafter. The child's handsome features at birth, however, cause him to be branded a "freak" on the Bizarro world, and set in motion a chain of circumstances which ultimately threaten to ignite an all-out war between the bizarro planet and Earth (S No. 140: pts I-III—"The Son of Bizarro!"; "The 'Orphan' Bizarro!"; "The Bizarro Supergirl!").

By February 1961 Bizarro and Bizarro-Lois have apparently acquired a second child, because now they are depicted as having two young children, a boy and a girl (S No. 143/3: "Bizarro Meets Frankenstein!").

[edit] Krypton's Destruction: The Anniversary Celebration

In January 1962, when Superman and the other survivors of the exploded planet Krypton--including Supergirl, Krypto the Superdog, the citizens of Kandor, and even the villains imprisoned in the Phantom Zone--bow their heads solemnly for one full minute of silence to commemorate the anniversary of the destruction of Krypton, Bizarro and all the other Bizarros of Htrae celebrate the occasion with a full minute of loud, joyously raucous noise, not out of any malice for the doomed millions of Krypton, but only out of the zaniness that characterizes their race.

"Ha, ha!" laughs Bizarro. "Is everybody happy?...Yahooo!!!"

"Too bad whole universe didn't blow up with it!" chimes in Bizarro-Lois insanely (S No. 150/1: "The One Minute of Doom!"). (TGSB)