Bizarro-Lois

Revision as of 16:14, 26 September 2006

The "grotesque, imperfect double" of Lois Lane who, along with her mate Bizarro, is the co-ruler of the planet Htrae (Act No. 263, Apr 1960: "The World of the Bizarros!"), a wachky cockeyed world "where all the men are imperfect imitations of Superman, and all the girls are distorted doubles of Lois Lane!" (Act No. 264, May 1960: "The Superman Bizarro!"). Indeed, it is to distinguish herself from all these other Bizarro-Loises that the original Bizarro-Lois has taken to wearing a large medallion around her neck plainly identifying her as "Lois-Bizarro No. 1." Like all Bizarro creatures, Bizarro-Lois-- who is alternately referred to as Lois-Bizarro-- is "only composed of lifesless matter," and is therefore, not really alive. Like her fellow Bizarros, she is illiterate and ungrammatical (Act No. 263, April 1960: "The World of Bizarros!"), and, like them, she is vulnerable to blue kryptonite just as Superman is vulnerable to green kryptonite (S No. 140, Oct 1960: pts. I-III-- "The Son of Bizarro!"; The 'Orphan' Bizarro!"; "The Bizarro Supergirl!").

Bizarro-Lois first comes into being in August 1959, when Lois Lane uses Lex Luthor's "duplicator machine" to create an imperfect duplicate of herself as a mate for Bizarro. Indeed, Bizarro falls in love with Bizarro-Lois the moment he sees her, and flies away with her into outer space so that they can find a home for themselves on a distant planet in some "faraway solar system" (Act No. 255: "The Bride of Bizarro!").

By April 1960, Bizarro and Bizarro-Lois have arrived on a world in a far-off solar system and stumbled upon the ruins of an ancient city whose alien population was "wiped out" by some unknown calamity sometime in the distant past. The two Bizarros decide to make their home there, but as time passes Bizarro-Lois becomes lonely for "friends to talk to," and so, to fulfill his mate's need for companionship, Bizarro uses the super-scientific apparatus in the ruins of an ancient laboratory to construct an ingenious "imitator machine" with which he soon creates hundreds of Bizarro-Loises in the exact image of his mate.

Bizarro-Lois's joy at her new-found friendships quickly turns to jealousy, however, as the newly created female Bizarros begin to covet the affections of Bizarro, the only male on the planet. At the insistence of the original Bizarro-Lois, Bizarro focuses the amazing imitator machine on himself, thereby creating a host of Bizarros like himself, one for every Bizarro-Lois. Together the male and female Bizarros-- all of them imperfect duplicates of Superman and Lois Lane-- set about dismantling the crumbling ruins of an ancient alien city and transforming them into "a crude copy of Metropolis" (see Metropolis) which "looks like something a mad architect would design" (see Bizarro City). The Bizarros christened their planet Htrae, which is Earth spelled backwards. The original Bizarro became "the tribe's leader," and the original Bizarro-Lois, his consort. Together they rule their Bizarro world from atop stone thrones in a ramshackle "palace." When Superman visits the Bizarro world and is thrown into prison on the charge of having violated the Bizarro Code, Bizarro-Lois visits him in his prison cell, proclaims her love for him, and offers to persuade the jury at his upcoming trial to find him innocent if he will agree to give her his hand in marriage. Superman, however,declines the offer: "Sorry, Lois!" he snaps. "I'll take my chances in court!"

"You...you beast!" cries Bizarro-Lois angrily as she stalks out of the prison cell. "You turn me down, eh? Then me will get jury to convict you...wait and see!"

Indeed, when Superman finally comes to trial in the Bizarro courtroom, charged with such heinous Bizarro offenses as "fixing houses," being handsome, and speaking "good English," his outlook seems bleak: not only is he denied an attorney and the right to defend himself, but the spurned Bizarro-Lois vindictively incites her fellow jurors into a frenzy against him, making a verdict of guilty a foregone conclusion.